Again, thanks everyone for responding. I really wish we had the old way of communicating (chat) it would make of made this debate much easier. But I'll take what ever I can get and in this situation I can see that not everyone agrees fully with one another. So, here's my thoughts:

It's hard to make decisions based on frantic moments. Yes Princess baby, I know that I need to change the way that I am dealing with my situation with Mr. Golden but I don't think cutting him off is the best thing I can do. Yes I know that it's gotten out of hand and that I deserve better than the way things are going for me. But I haven't been exactly honest w/ the negative emotions because I have been trying to give him space and allow him to learn who I am.  He has managed to get under my skin. If his reactions were blunt contempt, then I could justify turning my back but I do not feel he is doing what he is doing to simply be mean. This man has been through a lot over the years and wishes nothing more than to gain custody of his children. He feels that he is sacrificing himself by choosing Alex (I agree that he is because Alex treats him wrong). His eyes contradict what his actions show. he isn't happy, nor is he content with what he is doing. This is why I can not just walk away and pretend that I'm fine.

Yes Sharon, I know that I have had long distance relationships before but honestly it never made me happy. I figured out what I want in life and what I can accept; long distant relationships isn't one of those things. 

Yes I could wait and continue with my plans to attend Central Washington University, get my degree and then move if needed but that isn't going to be the best emotional decision for me. If I am ever to have the type of relationship I want to have with this man then I am going to have to find a way that will fill both of our needs. 

No Sharon, I don't need a man but I want one to share my life with one. I am not attempting to smother him. I do not make demands on him. Matter a fact, I have given him the last ten months of utmost patience. (He said that I've been way too patient and if it had been him he would have told himself to fuck off before now) Even now as I struggle w/ heart ache, I have told him to do what he needs to do; even if I don't exactly believe he will return. I've tried to muffle my cries and paint a supportive picture in hopes that he will change his mind and reconsider. If that does not work then there is nothing else that I can do. (Can't force love, it's natural or nothing and I believe that he does love me.)

As for moving to Spokane, it is simply a day-dream. I would discuss w/ him before actually doing. It's not something that would happen over night even if I decide to move. (No vexy this decision is based on much more than Mr. Golden but if you want to slap *bends over*) It comes with many perks though; such as:

1. a new environment for the kids. (one without the current people)

2. Several Universities that could enhance my educational future. (Washington University costs about the same as Central       University which is where I am suppose to be going; either way it's going to cost.)

3. Living conditions that appear to be less expensive.

4. A better ability to continue my relationship w/ Mr. Golden. 

I guess that pretty much says it all... I don't know what is going to happen or how I am going to react when it does. All I know is that my brain is responding to the pain and right now I am trying to find different ways to decrease that pain...