well hello there.........

another day a new adventure.... two days ago i was so happy my car was running after almost a year and a half. yes my personal life is up in the air but i was too excited about my car to care as much..today I busted the oil pan again..my luck sux....yep i do believe i am hexed but i'll get beyond it.....I'm strong and where there is a will there is a way....

last night I called my dark prince on the phone..I was glad to hear that he's ok.he didn't tell me why he wasn't calling anymore and he didn't tell me why he's not emailing me either...but he talked to me..thats good at least he still comes to the phone when I call....I also talked to his g/f who i like alot. she seems very sweet even if she is jelous of his feelings for me...after all thats natural... he said he was thinking about moving to another state well all i could do was wish him luck.. and ask if he was hiding from me?? he said no.but I am starting to wonder....thats ok if it's in the cards it will happen if not I will find a prince to share my life with some day.....

Now to the subject I am sure everyone is wondering about..the b/f problem....well we talked today and after 5 days he came up with an excuse about the kiss my daughter supposably seen....now listeen to this one...they were shot-gunning a joint..mmmmmmmmmm hum.. like i can ask my child if this is what she seen...I don't do drugs on a regular basis and my children don't know what they r so I can not even go there i just told him that i didn't believe him. and even if it were true he had no fucking buisness being that close to another woman...... basically i have given in to helping him get his kids and letting them stay here until after visitation....but after visitation he will move out if shit don't change...no questions..now I know I am being a slight mat here but for children i'm a big push over....i love his kids and i just caan't break their hearts like that... it's not their fault that theyre father is a looser who can't love a woman....

so here i am giving in to what i don't believe in..this happens to the best of us i guess......I even turned down the chance to go meet my cowboy tonight....he's a handsome guy i met on line. a guy i've been dieing to meet for a couple months now.but the timing is wrong....i want to do things for the right reasons not get with another man for the sake of rebellion or because i want to keep from being alone.......I can't use a man like that.it's not right...he is toooo sweet to hurt or even take the chance of hurting.....

well any way I'm gonna close just wanted to enlighten the situation since it had been a couple days.....

sincerley the crazy woman....

jesilyn

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