NO HE LIVES!!!!!
2001-07-25 4:57 p.m.
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Life for me was changing..My idenity was changing.... I was gonna be a mother and a young one at that I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I was doing everything I could..... One night we went to a N.A. meeting..... It was Martins birthday and I was already hurting.... I got ready in my best maternity clothes did my hair, my makeup and we left.... I had told everyone that morning that something was going to happen.... If I had known what that something was I would never have gotten outta bed.... We approched the meeting... walked through the doors... entered the room... and There he was... sitting in a chair accrossed the room was Martin..... I took several looks before realizing my mind wasn't playing games on me that it was him.....older looking longer hair even a full beard and mustach .....BUT HIM never the less.... I dropped everything out of my hands ran to the bathroom locked the stall door and fell to the floor.....I had been drinking coffee all day and after that night It was years before I could drink it again.... All I could do was cry and get sick..... (REMEMBER I WAS PREGNATE AND THE STRESS WAS NOT GOOD 4 ME) No one came after me......I was wishing he would give me an explanation (that would have to wait 13 years.) after the meeting was about over I did manage to reenter the room...I was still crying , but, couldn't take my eyes off him....We all respected the meetings too much to cause a seen in them but when the meeting was over shit almost hit the fan... Martin took off out the door to avoid conflict...Donnie close on his heals and me tugging at donnies jacket........ I was torn up again , Donnie was pissed off..... and Martin pulled away without a word..... Leaving me to wonder what the hell was going on.... I have tried to get over that moment and for the most I have.. But death is a hard topic for me and loosing a love one is even worse...don't get me wrong I am not afraid to die but I don't wanna push the issue.... |
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About Me:
My name is Jesilyn. I'm a forty year old mysterious spirit. I have survived the depths of poverty; experienced the wrath of wealth, studied psychology & several religions, evolved from a jagged family background where I suffered the hands of abuse, and now I stare life�s challenges in the eye.
Favorite Quotes
"The glass isn't half full or half empty. It simply needs a little ice."
"I maybe the queen of broken hearts but I don't stand behind the crown"
"If your ever going to see a rainbow you've got to stand a little rain."
"Good things come to those who wait."
"Life is what you make it."
"When life gives you lemons: Make lemonade!"
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