have u ever seen something comming, glad in a way that it's happening yet, at the same time it hurts like hell!!!! thats where I stand right now..the guy that I live with and I haven't had a relationship in almost a year..... basicly we live in the same house but aren't together like a normal couple.sure he wks and we both pay the bills I more than he , and I play a womans roll and clean and coook..We even sleep in the same bed alot of the time but never touch....

lately he has been spending an awful lot of time w/ the neighbor woman.yes the same one my daughter caught him with about a month ago kissing, or as he says she was giving him a shot gun.. they both act like nothing is going on.but I know in my gut that this is not true..

I try to smile and let it go, knowing that eventually my ship will come in and I can leave all this behind.

But still in my heart locked away is a woman still very much in love and wishing he would change.even though I know this is not rational thinking.

I am a romantic, a woman who thrives on being loved carressed and made to feel special...he is a user, he only wants what makes him happy..and I do so much for him why should he treat me like a queen...I'm being used some say.I prefer to think that I am beyond a shadow of a doubt giving 110%

No I am not gonna let his behavior effect my thinking to the point that I land face down rock bottom....but, Atleast I am aware of my situation.isn't that the first step in solving a problem...reconision?????? (how ever it's spelled)

any way I just wanted to touch basis on that b4 I go to sleep.... maybe a prince will come in my dreams and carry me off to a magical, romantic world and make passionate love to me....uh huh right jesi wishful thinking.but the whole thing is fun while it lasts.....

JESILYN

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