Another day of healing and trying to get on with our lives...the USA is suffering and I know many of my friends from other countrys feel the pain too...I have so many things going thru my mind...like what do the other ppl feel...do they really believe in their country or are they in the same boat as we r...is their lives sitting in someones hands who will lead them astray??? It's so damn sad...really....

I have a friend in pakestain who has dropped contact...and we feel its because he is upset with america....I really enjoyed this persons friendship...he is a marvolous writer and has been very supportive over the months...I wish he knew that I am not against him even if American citizens seem to be against his country...

I have noticed that in the news they speak of american citizens attacking other American citizens just because they hav ansestors from the countrys that the goverment suspects did this awful thing to us.... Why do ppl do this ...everyone of us except the American Indians were from other countrys and most of us are not genuine indians so damn it stop this....

The violence must stop!!! we must bond together to end terrorism in the USA and everywhere else..

My health is good...my emotional state is alittle crazy but I am working on this repititously and am hopeful that things will improve soon...

The kids are growing and getting more independant this is an issue for a mom who wants to hold on and protect....shelter them from the world that at this time seems to be falling apart in front of our eyes... My 4 and 5 yr olds see pictures of the rubble on tv and in newspapers...they point out this to me..I am constantly trying to ensure them that they are with me and I will protect them the best I can...I do not wanna give them false hope but I have to say something...

My oldest has been following the story as it unfolds and asks very intellegent questions...she also has strong opinions about war and death...not to mention she is studding my faith and drawing her conclusions...she agrees with harm none and thats the most important thing about my beliefs... I just keep reminding her to stand up for what she believes in....never hide...and always keep ur head up...

The house hunt is getting me down just alittle...we have 14 days and still no house...we do however get to c a house that rents for 250$ its a 4 br...house and I am hopeful this man will let us have it...

The van is driving me crazy the breaks are going to the floor...its not the break pads its leaking break fluid... and we can't afford to fix them...oh well keep it full and deal until we do...AS ALWAYS!!!

Me and Ronnie are going thru this crazy spell...its been so long since we have connected...honostly almost a year...I know its probably over but I can't get away either and he isn't leaving...what am I to do..I have needs too..and would kill to feel support during this insecure time of my life...I guess I'll survive...I always do..

Ok I'm gonna cut out!!! C SOON

JESILYN

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