Mon, 11 Jun 2001 06:26:07 -0700

Jesi,

Things have not gone well at this weekend. Mary got home at 4am on saturday. I told her first about my little escapade. I found out very quickly that I have living under a false idea. A few months ago Mary and I had met a couple that we were interested in, we did end up in bed with them, but Mary was unable to do anything. I had thought that this was because the guy had reminded her of her former lovers husband. I had thought that we were still in an "open relationship". I found out that I was wrong on saturday morn. A total lack of comunication, and me not thinking at all has led to me causing major damage. I have not told her of me feelings towards you, for to do so at this point would cause me to lose everything here. I am very sorry that I have done this to us. I have talked to Mary about us talking, leaving out certain parts, but as it stands now I can not be what I had promised to you. This is very hard for me to do. I do not want to lose you and I do want us to continue to rebuild our friendship. I do not know if you will ever forgive me for this, I will not forgive myself for hurting you this way.

I am glad to hear that you are taking back a path that is more you.

I do not know what to say now. I do love you, I never lied to you. I had not relized what was going on with Mary's attitude since Anakin was born. She has gone through a lot of changes and I need to catch up to her if I am to make this work and be here for Anakin.

I await your response.

I Love You, and I do miss you.

Martin

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