Sometimes life is an apsolute bitch and you are stuck in the hole of it all....I just woke up again with this damn tooth...I had taken a pain pill and went to sleep (yes one of the ones that make me sick) anyway I woke up again and went out to get a cup of tea...hoping to sooth the upset stomach...when I got to the kitchen I realized that the girls had used my wine glasses to make slushies...this makes them feel all grown up...

anyway I went to the bed room where star and her friends were still awake.I stressed my dismay and at that time I realized that stars friend was on the floor...any way I asked star if she had asked ronnie about one of the camping cots for this child...she said no u ask..I left the room opened ronnies door and realized real quick wasnt there

I asked the kids where is ronnie they said he left...he had on his painter pants his shoes w/ no sox his leather jacket in hand and took off like A BAT OUTTA HELL!

now I know exactly where he went that SOB went to the bitches house...yes miss toothless, drunk, looses her teeth brenda...I guess u can say I excepted that along time ago (tis part why I hav my own room) but the fact that he left his door unlocked and what he was wearing not to forget his last words to the kids "I'm gone" tell me i should b worried...

he is out at 3 somin in the morn driving, and drinking w/ no license on my insurance and if somin happens its on me...Even though I am constantly falling out of love w/ ronnie I do still love him and I can not bring myself to press charges especially when this state will confinscate the van and leave me stranded...I don't know what to do so here i am punching keys and trying to get how I feel out....

lately life has been a real challenge...being a single mom of 4 is hard enough without dead weight loading u down too...I have said it b4 I can't afford to move yet and there fore i am stuck here...I know that when he gets back there is gonna b a fight and I am not in the mood...but by damned if i'm gonna sit back and let it slide...."just hope he don't get in trouble" he has enough trouble w/ me that he's in...the water is boiling and I'm gonna cook me a rabbit!!!!!!

he has pushed angel to the Blazing Point!

Not that I feel any better but I am dizzy and sick so I'm closing I'll let u know what happens....

B.A.

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