you know life really sux when you are normally a level headed person but all of a sudden u would like to rip a childs head off their shoulders. thats how I feel right now!!!!

I was listening as I always do when Ronnie calls his kids...the last 2 days have been hell...I have been called a hoe, slut lazy , etc...I just dont understand when I pay the damn bills I clean the house I force him to do things 4 his kids...and yet I am the one they crack on...I am so upset and raged that I wanna grab the two doing it and strangel them...of course I would never do that but...still I want to...

If it weren't for my antidepressants I do not know what I would do...I believe i might go over the deep end again. I can't cry the pills won't let me...I cant sleep cause I am still to wound up...

He is out again left after a arguement about what was said and i know he is at that whores house...I just know it!!!! Ronnie just can't act like a man and stand up to his responcibilities...like all the other jerks I have been involved with...when am I gonna loose the loosers...when am I gonna make a choice that will bring me happieness for the rest of my life...I just don't know any more what to do...

I am stuck in a dog eat dog world, no place to go....nothing to get me there if I did know where to go...and day to day funds even if I wanted or needed to go...It is a never ending battle trying to get back on my feet...by goodness when I do get on my feet Ronnie and the rest can kiss my ass....and when I am gone those devils he calls kids will know just what miss jesilyn actually did 4 them...thats all I have to say about that...

B.A.

You can read older entries by visiting the achieves on the right. Thank You For Visiting!