the days and nights hav ran together in unison...as i spend every min I can with my new found love.....spiritual connection has become direct feelings and grows stronger everyday....

even knowing the chances against real life connection I find myself living the fantasy out in my head....our friends they have realized what is goin on and support us...even somewhat push us.. one has even offered to proform the handfasting if it happens to go that far...but me I am just drifting through this life on thin air...

I am floating at times with enjoyment from the attention. and long for him when he is not available...Like kindered spirits we are one. I blush when I find myself thinking about him when I am alone. Playing out some of my ultimate fantasys and realizin that anything is possible when the powers that be are involved...

Oh what I wouldnt give to have a man with his qualities.... his scense of humor, his openmindedness, his ability to communicate and understand the woman who falls deeper for him with every evening....I am me, i cannot deny how I feel for my eyes tell my inner most secrate thoughts...

On a differant area of life I am not so happy...stuck here with a man who i hardly even talk to anymore...with the holidays approachin I find myself upset and worried...how am I gonna provide for the kids the Yule that they deserve...

Today I recieved a package from a very sweet online friend....he went outta his way to send my kids a lil somin. bringin tears to my eyes for I am not use to that...in a world full of darkness and pain I have found a new family...a family where I am loved and cared about....and for this I am greatful!

B.A.

You can read older entries by visiting the achieves on the right. Thank You For Visiting!