As each day presses forward I find myself falling further and further in love with my spiritual male companion. His words filling my life with happieness. The countless hours we spend talking provides me with the emotional support I have for so long craved. His voice is like the gental breeze whispering in my ears. When I close my eyes I feel his presence and the visions keep me warm.

Each day I find it harder to escape the fantasy world that I have found saftey within. Hoping with every ounce of energy that we will soon be together as one. Knowing that only the powers that be can bring all my desires into reality. Patients is not my greatest strength so when alone I fall into what seems like nothingness. Lost in my imagination I plan what would appear to be a future ment for a goddess...a life full of acceptance, hope and happieness. One of trust and companionship.

My worst fear is that my life will repeat the pain that I have endured so often. The pain of loosing what I love so much. I try not to allow those fears to stand in my way as I continue down my path. Locking the demons in the closet and hiding the key. For what most would call insanity is my Home far away from the everyday regular world.

I no longer feel alone, I know that although 3000 miles away, there is a soul who is linked spiritually to me. I have felt his love and it is unlike anything I have ever felt before. I am willing to place everything on hold in belief that good things come to those who wait. That as long as I don't give up the rainbow of life will again color my world. When I finially have the rainbow I will know the true magick of happieness...

B.A.

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