I use to think that with love nothing else mattered. I have since realized that there are many things in life that matter and many things that all the love in the world can't change.... I have also realized that sometimes lovin some one can become quite painful...especially if there is distance between the two.....

lately this move has laid heavy on my heart...I know if situations were differant that I would be goin to Washington where my darling really wants to stay...I know that he is going to be givin up so much to come to me in Georgia. I know that this is eatin at his soul....and it hurts.....

These past few days I have watched as he has become almost lost in thought. so lost that he barely speaks...and I know what he is thinkin...I know that insecurities fill his mind and that he struggles with many things that are yet to come...including telling the woman he lives with and tellin his family....

I use to deny how the past few months have effected me...and all the words that were once said in the past now haunt my mind...fear consumes my thinkin as I look back on what I went thru b4...

I know that david is nothing like the decietful being that tried to ruin me...but some of the situation is much the same...such as him bein there with someone else...and him givin up what he has 4 me.... I have started hearin some of the things that i have read in my mind...wonderin if they are true...but surely a love like ours isnt wrong...

I don't know...things are gettin closer and time is movin rapidly....b4 long it will b time to go...and I am emotionally ready but everything else isn't....thats the bummer really....If i could b gone right now i would...to where ever I could be with him faster....

To where we could face life as one...and provide strength to one another....life is complicated and patience isnt one of my greater strengths..... its easy to fear the unknown..... even if u have always walked in the mist of it.... Basically this is just me worring over things that are out of my control... I'll be ok...

Ya'll take care I'll write more later....

BA

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