I realize that I havn't been writing much but I have been so lost in thought that I have been exausted....

I stay up almost all night just to spend my time with david after all there is a 3hr differance between us..and then I try to make it up while the kids are in school....i don't always get the rest I need....but I am dedicated to spending as much time as possible with david...

I have lost interest in almost everything else...and the move is starting to stress me out more and more every day...

Have you ever wanted somin so bad but was terrified that things were not gonna happen...thats me right now...I try to put all the negitive emotions into the closet and keep my goals in prospective but it's not always the easiest thing to do when every time u hav come close to finding happieness the book changes plots...

I have never been the luckiest person when it comes to love and creatin a family....I find myself wondering if i actually deserve the wonderful man i hav found..... I just hope that things wk out...I do not think i could with stand another heart break...not that I have been given any reason to worry....he treats me like a china doll.... I'm just not use to someone carin so much and offering this kind of attention...

I am trying to make plans to fly to c him around march 1st....I want to not only ease his fears but experiance his love on a more personal level...and meeting 1st is always a good idea...even if its not really in the budget... what is money anyway other than to b used to find happieness...

ok i'm rambeling again...I know this...I'll go 4 now....

C~SOON!

BA

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