Fantasy Verses Reality Vol. 1

Well, another day has begun and I feel no better than I did yesterday or the day before. I'm still trying to figure out what I am going to do. and where I'm going to begin. Change is never easy.

Being alone in this house has got to be one of my worst things. I have the kids but lack of adult conversation is nerve racking. I know me and Ronnie seldom talked but his being here made a differance. Most the time he yelled or complained about somin but the abused child that still lives in me see's that as attention (even at its worse). I know that what we been living was unhealthy and I know that in due time the pain will ease but it's gonna be a hard road.

I don't know what is happening any more. I am stuck with Ronnies stuff in the house. and bills up to my ears. I can't even start to think about my handfasting now. things with David have been quiet. I know he is dealing with personal issues such as his proise to never leave or intentionally cause her to leave...ut thats another story for another day. I love him to much to push. I know if it's ment to be he will come if not well...I'll have to eal with it...mind u I dont wanna but will if need be. love tht man so much.

Any way this day needs to get going c~soon

Blessed Be:

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About Me:

My name is Jesilyn. I'm a forty year old mysterious spirit. I have survived the depths of poverty; experienced the wrath of wealth, studied psychology & several religions, evolved from a jagged family background where I suffered the hands of abuse, and now I stare life�s challenges in the eye.

Favorite Quotes

"The glass isn't half full or half empty. It simply needs a little ice."

"I maybe the queen of broken hearts but I don't stand behind the crown"

"If your ever going to see a rainbow you've got to stand a little rain."

"Good things come to those who wait."

"Life is what you make it."

"When life gives you lemons: Make lemonade!"

WARNING:

This is my diary. You are a guest. So, please respect my sacrid space, as you would want someone to respect yours. Remember, I do NOT have to keep a public diary. I do this so that others who have similar situations, do not have to feel alone...

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