I spent the evening fighting with the phone company trying to get the block off. I sware Sprint is on my last nerve. I am so tired of contacting them. listening to their lies and dealing with their sadly trained employees...oh well....

I am starting to move on with my life, getting the house together for David to join me. I been unpacking the stuff I packed last month and trying to prepare myself to pack Ronnies stuff. You know after all that man put me thru you would think I would be full of hate. BUT I'm not. I thought at times I did. But seeing him in the court room in shackels and cuffs about killed me. I wouldn't allow myself to cry or even show emotion..I kept it all locked up. I spent yesterday trying to recover from the image. I know he had better color and he was clean shaven. I noticed he looked healthier. I guess thats all I can be thankful for is that he is safe and sober and drug free. It's sad really. He use to be a good man. even if his family said it was a front. NO don't worry I am not concidering taking him back...I can't do that. after what he did with my kids...NO WAY! but I can deal with the emotions that I feel in my heart as I heal.

My life is changing, I know things have to get harder before they get better. I am fighting to stand on my own two feet. to creep through the files in my mind and breath again. I fight the blues by staying busy weather I am playing on line, cleaning house or simply playing with the kids as long as I am active I am better off.

I am watching my skys looking for the rainbow....

Brightest Blessinga

BA

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