Tonite I sit alone in total candel lite. 41 candels of multi colors to shine, lighting my world. Tonight I can not sleep as I know tomorrow may decide my fate. he goes back to court...As i think about what this means to me I hold my breath...I fear, inside crying, even screaming for a so called merical...

craving to hear his voice, longing to c his face...dying just to be there to support the man I love so dearly. what I wouldn't give...My world for one visit, my soul....... maybe....he has been so important to my life ...supportive in every way...and I can not be there...My heart travels to him with a love that is so pure....

I stood over my alter staring into his eyes, concentrating to send the most positive of energy his way...this was not what I had planned but a storm ruined the ceramony..the rain may not hav allowed the candels outside but they lit the house with a plesent glow as I stood in the pouring rain staring at the sky...my tears mixed with those of nature as I pleaded with the powers that be to have mercey....

So many times before have I been blessed...will this be one of them..will they listen this time...will my heart be spared? Only time will tell...I can only hope that some where up there that the great and almighty hears my plea and allows my will to be served. that my skys will change from clouds to sun and the stars will again shine in my eyes that have grown colder and tired.

I close my eyes and invision what life should be like, what my the inner spirit craves...for a moment in time I have it all...yet when I open my eyes I find that I am still so terribly alone...emptiness fills my soul and I again mourn.

Thus is the seeds of my life, thus is the burdon I alone carry...will it last til the end of my days...I can only hope and hold faith that it shalt not be....

with this I close hoping that sleep will carry me to a world where a peaceful era lies. where I find comfort in his arms and forever is known....

Brightest Blessings

BA

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