To say the least I am aggervated, I truely am, I won't name names here and I won't add the convo but...because of a situation with a very close family member I am to say the least upset.

I have been posting my views concerning family, and what I feel the words mean. I have been trying ever so hard to make life within my FAMILY better. I do not speak blood here people for I havn't much of that left these days. what I speak of is my extended family, those I have grown to love and feel close to.

Tonight while discussing my darling w/ someone who he use to b very close to, someone he dearly loves I found out exactly how this person thinks....how they feel and their own phylosophy of family. I was appauled to hear the threats comming from this person, I'm not actually concerned with the threats them self but the idea that they would go the distance to make them knowing how strongly I feel about my family...

Its no secrate how badly I want David out and back home where I feel he belongs, Its no secrate what that means to me, and many others in the HOME. to night i found out that a person is willing to sacrifice the whole family to slander and perverse the whole situation, to publically humiliate not only him but me as well...whats there to gain from so much hate...why does this seem to be what the world wants... i just dont understand...

1st off im sry but this is my life and i hav choices to make...weather i stay w/in family or start a new is my choice no one elses...i certainly dont feel any more loved after tonights events....I have actually concidered starting a new...leaving the chaos and beginning again...yes I feel that pull very strongly... its not that I actually love my family any less...its that I feel my needs will not be met within when david gets out..I feel I have in many ways been asked to choose him or our family...though many may not understand that man makes me whole... and he is a huge part of my happieness I am just so aggervated by all this and I need time to think...I have real life issues that will come before a game where ppl don't even respect my right to live my life how I choose...ITS A GAME!!!!!!!!

FUCK IT!!!

Im going to bed...Ill think on this but wonder why I bother...

Brightest Blessings

BA

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