Twists turns and road blocks stand in every direction these days, People you thought were your friends you find were no more than camilians (wolfs in sheeps clothing) ready to shed their desguise and attack when you don't agree with them...people who truely never gave a shit about u from the beginning...only threaded you along until they could attempt to destroy you. You'd think I would have learned by now that this is how humanity works that true friends are less than one in a million...Yet I still hold belief that in general the world is good...

Over the last few weeks I have learned where my family/friends lie. I have found strength and comfort in a whole new world. I have learned the true meaning of family, friendship and love. that all three are unconditional and last thru even the worst storms.

Friends do not attack u when u need them most, friends stand by you even if they don't agree with you. Friends are their for u if life takes a sour note.

I have a friend right now that is MIA...this woman means the world to me...I just keep hoping, and praying that she will surface. I have made multiple phone calls and sent out several letters, her email is full but this does not stop me in my search. she gave me more strength that just about anyone and I will b forever indepted to her. eventually she will surface and when she does Ill hug her, bitch her , and then be thankful for her return...I do miss Aunti..I hear she is ok...not in the greatest living conditions but is ok...she just don't hav a phone or PC...maybe soon..I HOPE!

Which brings me to a totally differant topic...being friends with two ppl who are not friends with eachother. this is a fact of life. I will not allow the world to dictate to me who is worthy of my friendship, my love my compassion. I am a leader not a follower..I know what I want and Im not afraid to fight 4 it. I refuse to turn away from someone just because another thinks I should. I am so tired of the closed minded individuals...

As for the current attacks on me and my ability to be a mother I tell all those sorry ass bitches to evaluate them selves. what are you doing w/ your life..have u soght help for your depression, the random acts of slicing your body, your alcoholism , your lack of self control???? have u looked at yourself before u cast stones at me? I truely doubt it...

I have spent almost 13 yrs as a singel parent giving to my children everything in my power, everything in my being. My kids worship the ground I walk on they know they are loved and worshiped as well...material items are small compared to the love my children have and My life has been blessed by their exsistance. so what if they bicker, fight, wine, throw tanturns, get into shit, break shit, even become dare devils..guess what THEY R MINE!!!!

In my life I have faced many challenges, I have out lived abuse, neglect, loss of loveones, survived my mothers murder, made a complete come back from street life..I may be 29 yrs old but im no young pup... and I'm no QUITER! so go ahead cast your stones, try to tear me down...its gonna be u with the loss not me....u r the one Karma will bite NOT ME...

I am following my heart, believing in the power of love that can move mountains..and in the end I'll stand on top!

Brightest Blessings

BA

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