let me tell u about my day shall I?

I woke to CS comming in he called..definately the highlight of my day...after which i got the kids ready in a hurry, cleaned up the blankets..brushed my hair and was ready to meet him at the door.

when he arrived we walked to the store got food and had a picnic at the park w/ the kids....it was really NICE. came back and within a few hrs my cousins friends came...

not very great if u ask me...why u ask?

loud music bang bang bang...alcohol bottles every where which i was constantly cleaning...most the ppl were too young to b drinking but my aunt was right there involved as if she had not a care in the world...i worried all that loudness and alcohol..not to mention the rest...yes it concerns me.

anyway at dinner time cs ordered pizza and i ran store for drinks met him at the park w/ the kids again a nice picnic dinner..we played at the park took pictures and had a blast.

came back to more bang bang music..my 16-17 yr old cousin fucking some guy in her room she didn't know...my aunt drunk and passed out in her room not even carring...again i cleaned bottles and glasses of 1/2 emty booze ....worried what my kids thought..

poor star wanted a motel room , i wish i could have helped her..i do..I would hav rented one asap but i cant afford it... *sigh*...

anyway as it got later..things started dieing dn. ppl started leaving..and I layed and listened to the talk as ppl must hav thought I was asleep.. shell talked about me like a dog...telling these ppl that I refused to giv her 25$ for the electric..jesus christ she got 500$ to assure a place 4 me and the kids to stay and here she is being evicted...like I have been here 3 days 4 counting today that is broke down to over 100 a day for a couch and floor to sleep...maybe 3 baths 4 me and 1 for the kids. I hav shared my cigs and other stuff and here she is bitchiung about money...GIVE ME A GOD DAMN BREAK!!!!

Tomorrow me CS and the kids go to stay in seattle for the night so I can apply for some help to get a place to stay...this is BS I sware.. I sure hope everything wks out at that appointment. we can't go on with things like this. I need stability to take care of the kids and this place sure isn't stable..

thank heavens i know i hav raised kids with some common scense cause they know what they hav been seeing is wrong...they talk to me about it..and i assure them we will b out soon..yes i know like in a matter of a few days..why cause i hate it here..yes u heard me i hate it here...

my online family has more respect for me and the kids then my own blood does..i do not need us subject to the torment..

There is no way I am gonna sit back and take this shit...believe me b4 I leave I will say a few choice words...can't aford to yet...just can't...but will...thats a given...

I just hope my stuff is ok for 24 hrs while we r in seattle..can't afford to hav anything happen to my PC or the best of our clothes...

*shakes head* I sit here worried that I'll come back to an emopty house or something..I sware I will place a warrent 4 arrest if anything happens to our stuff...I have every right to be bitter as she has been paid more than a full months rent and her constant bitching about money drives me nutz..I know CS feels the same way...but what can we do now...

OK I'll quit rambeling but will catch up asap...

To all my wonderful family out there..I say thanks for the support and warm wishes it truely makes a differance..

Brightest Blessings

BA

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