today has been one of those days I sware! starting at midnight my x is here and and 1st thing he did was start drinking and running that mouth about me and david and me and michael...like its any of his biz at all.... its not really..Im not with him..I don't wanna b w/ him...he needs to b a father to his kids and leave me the fuck alone...thats a fact.basically we fought til 3am. he got michael upset and it took me forever to get him calmed down. john had told mike a bunch of shit. yes about 3 months ago Mike was on the verge of being out and yes i got scared of being on the streets w/ my kids so i talked to john about a POSSIBILITY of him comming here and moving in and being there 4 his kids...but I never wrote anything in stone and I never made any arrangements. matter of fact I even talked to david about it and we both said that me being w/ michael is better than me chancing johns unpredictability...especially since meds were all mike needed to straiten him out. its a fucked up situation... I'm working on it.

this morn i got up made breakfast and and jen picked me up to go take my drivers license exam. I flunked that son of a bitch bigger than shit! this is the 1st state ive ever been to that u hav to retake the written...me with my test anxiety I lost it and failed the damn test. nervous as hell..I hav to retake it again.. *frown* I'm suppose to try again tomorrow...if that happens..

I went to wk. and only set 4 2 resets and 2 new..I hope they wk out 4 the best.

after wk i stopped at kmart and bought towels and hair stuff and clippers to fix dylans hair...*frown* the babys cut it while he was asleep...thats BS! I ended up having to cut it off all the way.. we hav to start over w/ the length of his hair. its been 3 and 1/2 yrs since i started growing it. nothing i can do about it...honostly cant super glue it back again...

the phone rang tonight it was a frantic father of a girl star knows . looking 4 nicole...at 1st i told him i didnt know where she was, i hadnt seen her. then i sent star down to look at a neighbors house. star came back shocked. she found nicole in bed w/ some guy and an x friend of hers in bed w/ his bro...I flew down the stairs and into that apartment...NEVER KNOCKING...I told nicole to get her ass upstairs and told the other girl i didnt give a shit where she went...I called nicoles dad. and told him where she was...he said he'd pick up the girls...so i sent star to get samantha too...I cant stand that girl I cant. she is total trouble.. I never told the girls dad what I found. I told him w/in minuets after his call star seen em walking up and i flew out and forced nicole inside... Its a sad situation... he is a new single parent trying his best and failing horribly. I wish i could hav kept nicole here but she is his daughter and she needs to understand running away isnt the thing to do... they r mad at star 4 telling me but star knows that she was right..star is a smart girl we all know that...she has lived my mistakes 1st hand she knows how hard it is..she just wanted to protect her friends.

as 4 that boy...he is lucky! so lucky! I should hav told i should hav but nicole was so scared I couldnt do it...personal reasons...maybe its because of my own personal situations and my life..I mean she was there at will and prison isnt what that boy needs...what he needs is a good ass whipping! and he is lucky I didnt do it!

now I'm dead beat tired and need to finish the babys hair...damn schools around here...they keep bringing home friends...friends that i dont like, or need to deal w/ its both expensive and annoying!

I'm gonna close 4 now..

Huge huggys

BA

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