ok ok ok, u wanted an update well here it goes...

since easter, I lost my job...thanks to their stupidity...they want u to bonus but refuse to refresh leads when needed... so there was no way to sell to answering machines...they knew that...they just fucked w. me to c how far they could push me...so now here I am looking again 4 a new job...not actually a major problem..I hav already turned down 3 jobs in the last week. I refuse to settle when I know how damn good I am... I deserve to get what I want..and my kids deserve to have their mother home in the evenings...

I hav noticed a change in them since I been home again, makes me feel a lil guilty for looking 4 wk outside the home again...but money is the root of everything and its needed to support them...though we bring in 1600 b4 I ever step out the door... I just want more 4 them then to barely get by... so I continue to look for what ever will allow me the most time w/ them.. I even thought about 3rd shift after all I would b able to b here to get them off to school then sleep then put them to bed after several hrs together... but I don't wanna b away at night either especially if karin has one of those night mares again... she would freak everyone else out...

David found out that the whole marriage thing would take about another 2 1/2 yrs to get accomplished if then, appearantly he has to face some sort of a team, and they can deny based on the fact I have kids...paper doesnt matter to me and besides that...without it theres no way for anyone to use him against me... not that they would but it could happen... I mean I know the truth and I know that this is all bull shit but he will be faced w/ the shit 4 the remainder of his life on earth... someone seriously needs to change the laws...this is 2000's now and they hav long out lived their values...

anyway I suppose thats neither here nor their unless I can become a prez or somin and Id never want to even try...ppl in politics need serious help these days...they all seem to b more attracted to the american dallor than the actual lives they affect.

to change the subject I actually took time to enjoy a great book... I love VC ANDREWS..and I read one of the last books in the dawn series...300 plus pages in about 5 hrs.... those books make me feel like completing my life story as a complete fictional series.... that would b so weird...adding differant names and recreating memories that would probably be enough to make the world change emotional states 1000 times... I don't know I often wonder if I'll ever complete that chalange.. I mean everytime i start to complete something happens and I hav to quit... it either gets really crazy here or I get all depressed or something else gets in the way... I suppose one day it will get completed just not right now... when it is I'll hav put all the peices back together in my book......and my life......

anyway, mikey is asleep on stars bed cause star is watching a movie and we cant pull out the couch to sleep yet...it would b unfair on a weekend to force them to bed....

ok im being typed to on AIM I better close 4 now...at least u got some sort of an update so hush MARG!

Brightest Blessings,

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