funny how certain convo's can create certain feelings... I was talking to marg last night and the topic of Ronnie came up... so many mixed emotions flooded my mind...

she says he talks to his sister often about me and the kids... I don't understand why... that man only told me he loved me one time and it was a total slip of the tongue about a week or two after we got together... frankly it pissed me off a lil... if he really loved me wouldn't there have been some discussion about his feelings... NOOOOOO.... there never was....

I can remember the good times too people... i remember the trips to the beach the swimming, fishing... the trips to north carolina where we visited his kids... u know the kids i wanted to claim as my own... the kids i fought so hard to get back in his life again... the kids I'll probably never see again.... *sigh* ok so remembering the good times brings back the pain again...

I devoted 3 yrs of my life to that man... next tuesday would have been 4 (wonder if he even remembers) if he had only showed he gave a damn back then...

he thinks I'm bitter... well maybe a lil... but I'm more hurt than anything... I would have married him in a heart beat... (shut up marg b4 u even start) even u know I had sat and stared at the wedding rings several times... but those days r over...

I wonder if he even knows that I think of him.... maybe its better off that way.....

until next time....

Brightest Blessings,

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