Im tired and crazy but hey whats new....

I did get to c shad on sat. it was an extreamly emotional experiance...its been almost 2 months since we seen eachother...and being able to look into his eyes was enough to melt my heart.

we had alot of hard discussions I played counselor alot and we tried to wk on some of the reality verses nightmare images.. that place is definately messing w. his head and I am afraid of what he thinks of himself...

I mean I realize what he did was illegal but he is locked away w/ lil psychological help...letting his imagination run away w/ him, he takes alot of wk when it comes to self esteam and acceptance issues... he knows he was wrong and made huge mistakes he knows the feelings behind his actions but when u sit in a cell and hear the things he does he tends to start thinking evil thoughts making memorys out of lies so to speak...

he didnt hold her dn he never did anything she didnt want to happen...but he has begun to c things like that in his head..... I just dont know what to do to wk on these issues... he isnt a horrible man...he is a human..hes not a monster he is human... he made a huge mistake and will pay 4 that mistake 4 the rest of his life... its a sad reality 4 a good man who is full of love, knowledge, and compassion... a reality that effected so many people in so many ways...

theres not really much more that i can say about that.....

ok Im gonna run... lets all wish 4 the best in this situation....

Brightest Blessings,

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