Hello everyone, I realize it�s been a while since I�ve written so I figured I�d give you a small update�

I�ve been really busy lately. Summer classes have started and I am over my head. I took one math class which I�d do fine in IF I would try a little harder. Then I took astronomy and this will be the death of me. I have no interest in the solar system except to study the stars on a warm star filled evening. I think I am going to drop it in a week or two. I do not have any intentions of keeping a class that I�m not happy with. Maybe it would be different if I were in a classroom where I could ask plenty of questions but this one is online and frankly I am lost. Either way I will get rid of it before Aug. 3.

The kids seem to be getting better now that John is back in Ohio. They are starting to behave again, help w/ the house and each other. I don�t get much rest because I am constantly cleaning and trying to make money. Which reminds me� I have begun tattooing. I�m really pleased w/ my work. It provides extra money. (http://www.babc.true-emotions.net)

On a sour note, I had to take star to the ER last night. Apparently she had a cyst bust in her ovary and the fluid has entered her abdomen. After the pain meds kicked in, she seemed ok. They said she should feel better in a few days� I personally am beginning to worry about her future. She hopes to have kids one day� and well between the cysts and the fact that her uterus has turned sideways it may create problems in the future.

Then there is the roller coaster love life� You know me; I�m dealing w/ Shad and trying to figure out where my relationship w/ Mr. Golden is headed. Me and shad have been shedding a lot of harsh words lately. He needs more than I can offer and well frankly I just don�t know how much more I can deal with. I love him I just am not sure how in love w/ him I am these days. I think all the time I have been spending with Mr. Golden has made me more than concider changing my mind. But there are still some major issues there. I still don�t know what he is going to do about his move.

I did spend the night with him last week. It was nice to be able to lay in his arms watching tv. It seems so natural, u know? I wish I knew where this is headed� I was suppose to go w/ him tomorrow and well Alex came in yesterday w/out notice and may have blew my plans to hell� I�m a little on the emotional side I guess you can say�

Basically, her stuff is still there at his house because she is staying w/ friends until she buys her house which she is waiting on him to get his realtors license. She chose spoken because that�s where his kids moved. I know she is planning for him to stay w/ her at least temporarly but I keep hoping that, that doesn�t happen. He knows my feelings and I�m sure he is pondering the idea of moving in together but I still doubt it will happen. All I can do is sit and wait and pray that one of the gods allows my happiness to continue�

Anyway that is it for now. I will attempt to keep you all informed�

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